The Illinois Department of Natural Resources has been battling the invasive asian carp species for decades, and they're nasty little buggers. But the DNR had an idea: Free Asian Carp Sliders! They gave them away at an event here in Chicago, and we'll eat anything.
Eva: Pretty gross, but better than the bedbug tacos they offered up last year.
Ian: Why couldn't we have an invasive bacon problem?
Blythe: I just want to know why these carp are taking all our jobs and what the candidates plan to do about it.
Peter: Yeah. Somewhere, there's an unemployed tuna saying "damnit, I should have been ground up, breaded and fried! This used to be my country!"
Ian: They can't really expect we'll eat these. Maybe they're just hoping word will get around to the other asian carp that we're loco.
Peter: I actually like this. I could save an entire riparian ecosystem myself, given enough tartar sauce.
Blythe: Sliders are so 2011. Should have made asian carp macaroons.
Ian: If they want to solve the problem, they need to make it all you can eat. That's how Olive Garden stopped the invasive breadstick epidemic.
Robert: The DNR had such success with this, the highway department will be serving up the Roadkill Hoagie next week.
Eva: It really is invasive. Every time I take a bite, ten new asian carp sliders appear on my plate.
[The verdict: everybody thought it was pretty gross, except for Peter, but I think his sense of duty to the Great Lakes is coloring his impressions a bit.]
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